im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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