The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So many bounce houses so little time
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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