Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
