I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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