I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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