Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
