You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
