What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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