are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
