Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Come share oat with me in your robe
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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