I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
