If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
