I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
