1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
