Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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