okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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