i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
