According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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