That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
