i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
