i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
