I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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