my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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