Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize