went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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