oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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