I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize