Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
