Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
