My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
