He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just got carded by a ten year old.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize