Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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