It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
