check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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