If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize