We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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