he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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