Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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