On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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