And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
