Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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