So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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