OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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