babies were throwing up all over the place
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
