you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
