then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
