NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
