4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
