it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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