Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
