Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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