But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
