Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
