The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize