So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
