Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
