Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
