Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
