Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
