so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
wow bdsm is so cute
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