I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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