hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
