Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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