Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
