i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
