i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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