Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
