I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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